Worst Movies of 2018

  1. Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindewald – If you love the lore of Harry Potter, or wonder what Pokemon battles would be like in its universe, maybe there’s something here for you, but probably not.
  2. Bumblebee – The best Transformer movie ever.
  3. Super Troopers 2 – Like that thing where they pull the guy over again except a whole movie and less funny.
  4. The Equalizer 2 – Denzel becomes even Dadder and I can only take so much of my dad murdering people.
  5. Death Wish – It’s okay but in the modern world this whole conservative fantasy feels out of place.
  6. Tomb Raider – Completely forgettable.
  7. A Wrinkle in Time – Bad, but at least it’s beautiful.
  8. Pacific Rim: Uprising – Bad version of Atlantic Rim.
  9. The First Purge – It’s amazing these movies manage to get even stupider and less-believable every time out but this one is dull on top of normal sins of these films.
  10. The Girl in the Spider Web – Pointless garbage still rotting from the early aughties; it shows that is a good example of the difference between representation and fetishisation.

Please note that this list is supposed to show up as ten to one. If it doesn’t in your browser, flip your monitor 180 degrees and read it upside-down.

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