2018 Movies of the Year

  1. Eighth Grade You’ll want to crawl under your seat out of sympathetic awkwardness at the story of this girl’s normal life. My inner fourteen year old girl loved this movie so much. It’s sweet without being saccharine and relatable to anyone who grew up in the United States.
  2. Shoplifters The best film about family since the last Fast and Furious film. Perhaps it is because I went to Japan recently that this hit me so hard, but it’s really stuck with me. It’s morally complex without being edgy , emotional without being sappy. I’ve been told the subversiveness of it may be lost on some audiences, but I dunno, I think anyone would be able to get it. This was really special
  3. Paddington 2An extremely cool bear actively reforms British society. This was a strong contender for number one and it took a lot to accept having it this low on my list (I almost want to just do a three-way tie). In this age where irony and its poison has seeped into all walks of life, Paddington 2 is unapologetically sincere and optimistic.
  4. Sorry to Bother You – A film about call centers, color, conforming, capitalism and horse . . . care. I’m amazed it got a main stream release due to how directly it shines a light on the exploitative practices of capitalism, and how they particularly prey upon people of color. Despite the brutal depiction of these practices, and the serious subject manner, the film is very funny. This is going to have a long shelf life and be shown in both schools and meeting halls.
  5. Night is Short, Walk on Girl – A colorful animated film about a girl who drinks a lot while a dude in love with her tries to buy her a book. I call this film colorful even though one of the dominant colors of the film is black, because I just loved how the other colors contrasted this backdrop. It’s funny and mature, while still being fanciful and full of youthful energy. Even though I’m a teetotaler who cannot relate to the subject matter, I still had a great time with this.
  6. Black Panther Superhero Black Panther takes the audience to a futuristic and alien place they are not familiar with: one where 90% of the cast and creators not white. This may be the most important film of the year due to this fact, but it stands on its own merit. It artfully tells a story in a unique way despite the story being one whose base is well-trodden ground. It bold, it’s political, it contains metaphors both obvious and sublime, and is attempting to deliver messages not often delivered in mainstream cinema. My only problem is that some of these messages are undercut by fairly unnecessary CIA heroics. This is minor though does not detract from the overall quality of the film.
  7. Won’t You Be My Neighbor – This Mr. Rogers documentary will be replacing those weird fountains in science labs because it’s all you need to cry any obstructions out of your eyes. I cried twice while watching this despite the fact I saw it in a fairly well-lit airplane. It is true that the film lets Mr. Rogers off the hook easy at certain points for “well that’s the way those times were” beliefs, but the overarching message of Mr. Rogers, and of this film is so important that I understand the motivation behind that. Would watch and cry to again.
  8. Thoroughbreds – A girl with a social disorder learns about the value of friendship-or lack-thereof. Thoroughbreds though, is definitely not nice. It’s harsh and can be mean, but usually to those who deserve it. I’m really surprised this hasn’t gotten more buzz, because it’s really fun and is a throwback to 90s films, while still being very modern. It didn’t quite have the emotional umph to climb much higher on this ls, but it really is one of the films I will look back fondly on in the future.
  9. Revenge – Princess Peach saves herself. This is a fairly simple film, it’s an 80s style revenge film, except instead of being some dude’s significant other to be avenged, the woman saves herself and (in this extreme spoiler that me and the title of tie film give away) gets revenge against the dudes who have extremely wronged her. Gritty, grimy and surreal, this is a great popcorn flick.
  10. Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse – Peter Parker once again gets bit by a radioactive spider and . . .—okay, yes, that happens but some other people get bit by spiders too! A fact is that most of these comics that are so popular these days are based on original source material that is sixty years old at this point. Into The Spider-Verse feels way newer. Although the main character is from a comic that is almost twenty years old at this point, it’s been freshened up and modernized, and the actual storyline is from a year ago. And it really shows. This is the hippest that Spider-Man has felt in a long time. Throw in the really beautiful art and animation and this is one that is going to be a favorite for a long time, and definitely make some new comic fans. I loved it.

Honorable Mentions That I Can’t Believe DIdn’t Make The Cut: Isle of Dogs, Solo, Annihilation

Worst Movies of 2018

  1. Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindewald – If you love the lore of Harry Potter, or wonder what Pokemon battles would be like in its universe, maybe there’s something here for you, but probably not.
  2. Bumblebee – The best Transformer movie ever.
  3. Super Troopers 2 – Like that thing where they pull the guy over again except a whole movie and less funny.
  4. The Equalizer 2 – Denzel becomes even Dadder and I can only take so much of my dad murdering people.
  5. Death Wish – It’s okay but in the modern world this whole conservative fantasy feels out of place.
  6. Tomb Raider – Completely forgettable.
  7. A Wrinkle in Time – Bad, but at least it’s beautiful.
  8. Pacific Rim: Uprising – Bad version of Atlantic Rim.
  9. The First Purge – It’s amazing these movies manage to get even stupider and less-believable every time out but this one is dull on top of normal sins of these films.
  10. The Girl in the Spider Web – Pointless garbage still rotting from the early aughties; it shows that is a good example of the difference between representation and fetishisation.

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Five Least-Liked Films of 2017

It is my theory that every movie has some sort of redeeming value.  However, while I like and appreciate most films, I can’t claim to like EVERY film.  This list contains the movies I disliked this year, or, to be polite, liked the least.

My next entry, and hopefully the general theme of this site, will be about celebrating films . . . namely the best ones of 2017.  But there can’t be good without recognizing the bad.

  1. Dunkirk – It’s a great sounding, beautifully shot extremely boring movie.
  2. Flatliners – This movie wasn’t all bad.  But it was definitely more bad than good.  Its frenetic pace ultimately started to get annoying and in the end I just wanted it all to relax a little bit.
  3. War for the Planet of the Apes – There isn’t much redeeming about this one.  These movies were always a bit hard to take serious but there was just so many layers of sap added to this thing, along with completely unsubtle story telling.  Yeah I get it, Cesar is Jesus.  Relax.
  4. Atomic Blonde – There was a lot of good about this film.  It seemed to have a good script.  The action sequences were creative.  The acting was good.  Which is why it’s so disappointing and ultimately was in the running for the worst film of the year.  Any time the director had a choice to make, he made the wrong one.  Whether it was doing something in C.G.I. that was completely unnecessary, or messy time line errors, or just pointless cuts, or not enough cuts, or whatever.  Awful directing ruined what should have been a good film.  I was adamant about this being my worst film of the year, right up until the very end of the year.
  5. Downsizing – Downsizing came on strong at the end of the year though to usurp the worst film of the year from Atomic Blonde.  Atomic Blonde is a good movie ruined.  There’s nothing good about Downsizing.  The idea the film is built on is preposterous, its underlying message is about as subtle as a sledgehammer, and its platitudes are about as complex and meaningful as a bad children’s books’.  Everything that happens is completely predictable and ultimately pointless.  Nothing that happens matters.  Also, frankly for a film that was about creating a utopia, it sure did walk the borderline of being racist or misogynistic.   Above all, I can’t believe someone made a movie where everyone with straight faces said “get small” about a hundred times.  How did this happen?   There’s no reason to watch this film.